The Fart

"You farted?"

Jim pulled his seaman's cap as low as possible and tried to hide his face in his own armpit, wanting to twist out of view and into the some miraculous wormhole that would take him back so he could rescue himself from the utter and encompassing awfulness.

"You farted as he was spanking you? You're kidding me?"

"Noooooooo!"

Pete processed that one. I mean, he was getting his head around the spanking thing anyways, but his mate *was* a kinky bastard. But this –he mentally flipped through his catalogue of responses –nope, he had no script for this.

"Man. That's rough. D'ya think he noticed?"

Jim's head shot up, his face redder than Pete had ever seen; even when they'd made him play spin the bottle with Sally Fitzgerald in year 9. Jeeeeeezus. Pete tried to imagine farting on Tanya, but he couldn't even get his imaginary self over her knee. Jim had some balls, hell yes.

Pete retrieved a memory and sacrificed a little dignity with his easy grin.

"I once farted in a job interview. That was bad."

Jim laughed. "D'you get the job?"

"Yeah, surprisingly enough. I shoulda saved it for when they fired me."

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